I know many of you may often feel loss, as I know I do most of the time. And when it comes down to understanding why something happens, or why we cannot control nor contain situations, we end up overexerting ourselves. I know I do.  But it’s exhausting. And while it’s easier to offer my thoughts on this than it is to take a dose of my own medicine, I wanted to remind you all to embrace that life is good.

When push comes to shove, we can end up leading ourselves astray. We may get lost in our initial response/reaction to an event. But it’s important to always be willing to shift perspectives. Be free, and allow yourself to shift gears. Perhaps you’re moving at 90 mph when you should be going 55 mph. Or, you’re adding less spices and herbs for fear of overpowering your dinner. What you must do is learn to reevaluate. Widen your view and accept that what you experience is part of something much bigger. We may not understand it now, but when we do, it will be worth the wait.

After all, we each have to try many different combinations before we can open our own lock to our locker of life. Remember, it’s okay to pick the wrong combination of numbers beforehand. As long as we’re willing to reassess and rearrange, we’ll be set for whatever lies ahead. We’re the W&M Tribe; I’m pretty sure it’s in our blood to succeed—no matter how difficult the struggle.

A couple of weeks before the end of the Spring 2011 semester, I had the pleasure of serving on the “Panel on Mental Health Issues in the W&M Community.” The panel, which included Dean Volp (Dean of Students), Dr. David Goode-Cross (Counseling Center), and myself, served as an open forum for the student body, staff, and administration. It addressed mental health and safety, and was one of many events organized for second annual “I AM W&M” Week. This year, this very special week was led by Student Assembly’s Diversity Initiatives, the International Performance Arts eXchange (IPAX), and Professor Tanglao-Aguas, and I very much look forward to it next Spring.

Although, to be fair, I think I should explain why I look forward to this life-changing week.

As a prelude to the Panel (which was held on April 20th, 2011), IPAX and members of the Tribe, performed several pieces of spoken word, rap/lyrics, and songs. Each of the performers were asked to focus on self-expression. To my surprise, I was asked to also share some of my own work. It started as an event where I was to perform four of my own poems (and represent the student voice by serving on the panel), but it has led me down a path of self-discovery, compassion, and joy; after that evening, I felt as if the community had truly come together to listen and understand one another, which is something about W&M that I love. We are a community. We are a family.

So, after the panel, I decided that sharing my poems (and myself) was something I just had to continue. I decided from that night on, I would write every single day. I have kept to that promise, and I now write a poem every single day. I intend to do so until I graduate next Spring. For me, I see each blank page as a new beginning, as I sit myself down every night to piece together the little notes I have made throughout the day. I send out each poem to some of my closest friends for comments, critique, and advice, in hopes of developing my own voice. Today marks Day 105 of my “poetry project,” and since I have already broken 100, I thought it was time to share my work with my family – my Tribe family. The family that inspires me to be better, and to always fight for more.

So this afternoon, I present you with three of my pieces. I’d love it if you shared your thoughts, but most importantly, enjoy!

–

Day 56 (6/14/2011)

Sequoias Know Best

I once heard that Sequoias are different from most trees

Other trees send their roots deep below

Into the soil to absorb nutrients for growth

But Sequoias, they are unusual

For they know the true meaning of respecting their roots

For the roots of the Sequoia do not seek the depths of the earth

Nor do they rely on water from deep, dampened soil

Thick root systems form early on during the life of this tree

And their roots sprout from the base

And they grow

With dexterity, with grace

And soon, they show that they must reach

Towards the surrounding sturdy Sequoias

And rather than growing independently

They extend and intertwine

So by growing with those around them

With much support in shallow soils

The Sequoia can grow towards the greatest heights of the sky

Two, Three… Hundreds of feet above

Until nothing is impossible

Not even reaching for love

–

Day 81 (7/9/11)

All is Fair

Consider this a warning:

I’ll burn you

Scald you

Torment you

Hurt you

Break you

Chain you up

Hold you hostage

 

Your weaknesses

Are no longer secret

(Exposed)

They are mine

And I will use them

Against you

 

So before you wear

That heart on your sleeve

Know that you are vulnerable

To all of the possibilities

Of war

–

Day 104 (8/1/11)

Be Honest Now

As you outstretch your arms for the warmth of the sun

Let us just start again with page one

Listen and understand as I draw what is said

So you can watch me weave this soon-to-be tangled web

Something pretty similar to what you can do

But I can probably do it a little better

For I’ve seen the master at his best

Carefully carving away the excess

And revealing the beauty that was hidden

Almost as if you are unveiling the bride

Or unmasking the hero

So that identity is more than just an acquaintance

You should become more familiarized

With the infatuated look in their eyes

And let the hurricane come rushing through

Or let the tornado invade and take you away

Twisting and cursing you to your personal fate

Just remember that truth in this life is what you create

–

-Ryann

Dear Spring Semester of 2011,

You have surprised me; I have never seen a more unified community. With each semester at the College, I realize how much this place resembles a tight-knit family. Following the tsunami in Japan last month, several initiatives on campus arose. Our campus is driven by service and community engagement, and I certainly saw that with the Japan Recovery Initiative. Several organizations, like those involved in the Asian Student Council (Chinese Student Organization, Vietnamese Student Association, Japanese Cultural Association, Korean American Student Association, South Asian Student Association, and the Filipino-American Student Association), have dedicated the past month in raising money and awareness about the catastrophe in Japan. With events like ASC’s “A Dance for Chance” and FASA’s Annual “Turon Fundraiser”, organizations on campus are working hard to increase support for this particular initiative.

Another instance of community that I have witnessed is the College’s very own Relay for Life. Held this past Friday and Saturday, from 7PM to 7AM, several groups on campus gathered to remember those affected by cancer, provide an incredible support group, and remind each other of the fight against cancer. This year, Relay for Life raised over $30,000 for the American Cancer Society. Even though we’re a small school, we certainly have a big heart for fundraising for a cause.

Members of the Tribe are not only concerned with volunteering their time for others. They are also compassionate toward one another. Within the past year, I have seen (and participated with) the growth of on-campus initiatives that raise awareness of mental health and safety. Known as “The Little Things at William and Mary”, this particular organization works to remind each other of the beauty and love present in our lives; thus, we should all take a step back and realize that there is more to life than “the hustle and bustle.” Right now, The Little Things facilitates an anonymous online blog, which encourages submissions from all members of the Tribe (poetry, prose, short stories, links to YouTube videos, photography, favorite quotes – basically anything that makes someone smile). Feel free to check out The Little Things Blog, as all are welcome to share why and how they’ve realized that life is beautiful.

Another organization that I have come to respect greatly is known on this campus as “The Circle.” This organization hosts weekly cyphers (every Monday night at 9:30PM at the Phoenix Seal by the Crim Dell for those who are interested). These “cyphers” provide a safe space for self-expression. Members gather every week to free-style, rap, recite poetry/floetry, beat box, play instruments, and more. I’ve never seen a more diverse, yet dynamic, group of individuals, as they are certainly from all walks of life, and have many different interests altogether. You can check out more on The Circle if you’re on Facebook!

It’s events and initiatives like these that remind me why I’m at William & Mary. This place is certainly an incredible environment for our family of compassion and love.

Thank you, Spring. You truly are amazing.

-Ryann

So this is what it boils down to: You’ve got to go with the flow. Honestly. Life isn’t supposed to be mapped out to every significant detail. That’s how you get disappointed. I’m not saying you can’t dream. Go ahead and dream. Rest your eyes tonight and envision your hearts truest and wildest desires. Wake up tomorrow with purpose and follow your personal delight. Do what makes you happy. And go ahead, audition for the lead in your school’s musical, study your butt off for that Econ class that just so happens to shred your beautiful GPA into bits. Apply for those scholarships and internships, no matter how daunting the applications are. If you don’t try, you won’t ever be good enough to be the lead, to get an A, to have $4,000 to help pay for tuition, or land an internship in NYC or DC.

But don’t ever for a second let your heart become so tied to a decision. Because if that decision falls through, you can’t let it ruin you. You can’t be so set on the future, because life calls for flexibility. Do what you can, but be open to change. Life is what you make of it, so mold it into something beautiful.

Are you trying to overcome a tough situation? Are you struggling with a thought, letting it consume you? Stop. Release all tension, open your mind, and open your heart to this: Just remember, this is a test. It is only a test of your strength. It is a test to see how far you push yourself. It is a test to see how creative you can get. How do you handle the situation at hand? Are you going to act without thought, or are you going to breathe in deeply and reevaluate your options?

Just stop for a second and remember, this too shall pass. I know it’s hard, but trust me, it will get easier. I know it can get pretty hazy, colors smearing together, dark and light switching places. But life is never going to be clear. You have to accept that. It’s up to you to decide if it’s going to tear you down, or make you stronger. Living life is a fight to the finish, so there is no escaping that.

So what now? The past is the past. Just don’t dwell on it. Do what you must do now, and continue on. Move forward. Always move forward. Because, if you stop to look back, you just might miss a step.

I feel like I just swallowed an optimism pill. This feels great. After watching Obama’s speech last night at the Tuscon Memorial, it got me thinking… there is hope in this world. Despite my pessimistic view toward consumer-driven Americans, despite the misunderstandings and misinterpretations of religions around the world, despite the amount of corruption, poverty, malnutrition, ethnic conflict, environmental degradation, and the spreading of infectious disease, there is hope for the human race. There really is hope.

It doesn’t matter if we can’t change the world all at once, or that we can’t make the planet a perfect place to live. All that matters is that we make the changes for ourselves, and if there’s enough strength and resources left, go ahead and save the world. But by working on ourselves first, we reduce suffering in the world. Because if you are at peace, then it increases the amount of peace that people experience around YOU. And that is contagious.

We need to find BALANCE within ourselves if we ever expect to contribute balance to the rest of the world. And yeah, we’ve hit the 7 billion mark in terms of human population. And the population keeps growing. It’s not that we are going to automatically run out of space in the near future. But if we just find BALANCE with our lifestyles, it gives others a better chance at finding peace in their lifestyles.

In the words of Michael Jackon: “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change.” It’s the truth, I’m telling you. And I’m going to live by this from here on out. I know there will be plenty of hindrances on this road to happiness, but the journey is more than half the fun. So, be selfish. This is your life, do what you’ve gotta do to be a better you. Only then can you help make this world a better place.