If I had just one wish it would be this:
I wish I could sit down and have the most beautiful meal you have ever seen in a dining hall with a 3 year old Maddy, a 6 year old Maddy, 8 year old me, 12, year old Maddy, and so on until the present day Maddy. I would sit at the head of the table and ask myself questions about my thoughts on the world, on my passions, my life goals, my ambitions and dreams at each stage of my life. I would sit and look around the table seeing the effects of time and change. I would likely envy the innocence of my little self, and say a prayer over the middle school Maddy for all of her insecurities. I would celebrate my accomplishments of the years, and cry alongside of the younger versions of me for the different struggles that I am facing at each of these stages of life. I would listen to my stories intently focusing on the detail taking myself back to those moments in life that were so sweet. The future Maddy would be standing just on the other side of the door waiting her turn to enter, listening through the walls and waiting for the moment when she too can join the table. Occasionally she gets to peak into the room as the servers open and close the door. She has a flash back into the past for just a moment before the door closes again and she is back in the future moment.
I wonder if the little Maddy would be proud? Would she look at me and celebrate the person that I have become; would she want to be me when she grows up? Or would she look at me and think that I’ve disappointed her because I didn’t do all that I was capable of? Whenever I doubt what I’m doing or where I’m going I think back on whether or not she would be proud of the person that I have become. I hope that she would look on me in awe and wonder impressed by all that I have accomplished and curious to know how I got there.
Time is an interesting phenomenon that continues running forward despite how hard you try to stop it. Regardless of whether or not I want it to, May 2013 will come, I will graduate from William & Mary and my life will continue moving forward. So, my hope for you is that you embrace it. Appreciate the moment where you are, here and now and don’t wait for something to happen; create the moment yourself. If you want to take a risk, embrace it. If love is what you seek, chase it. If your heart calls you to serve, do it. If you are pushed out of your comfort zone, enjoy it. If you’re broken, fix it. I do believe that you write your part in the story you create, but the little girl in me secretly likes to believe in wishes. If wishes inspire dreams and dreams do come true – for this New Year, what would you wish?